In a world seemingly full of negativity, positive thinking appears like a big boon.

We live in a world that thrives on fear. Fear is used by the governments and media to manipulate the masses, by corporations to manipulate employees and by parents and teachers to manipulate children. By the time these children grow up, they are so full of shame, guilt and lack of faith in themselves and the world, that they see no way out. And for these people, positive thinking is a big boon indeed. To switch from a constant stream of negative thinking to focusing on the positive can bring about big shifts.

There are some things in life that are very useful in certain circumstances but a pain to carry around. Like a ladder. Positive thinking (and the law of attraction) is that ladder. It pulls you out of a deep ditch that life worked you into, helps you climb out and changes your life. But then, you start carrying it around, and that’s where the problem begins.

How can Thinking Positive be Bad?

Really. How can something that is positive, be ‘bad’? Contradiction? Not really. If a coin identified only with the ‘head’ and refused to acknowledge the existence of the ‘tail’, what good would that do?

When we refuse to acknowledge the existence of our negative emotions, it is akin to refusing to acknowledge the trash in our house, and choosing to focus on the flowers. Over time, the trash starts to stink and the flowers wilt. If however, we tackle the trash, convert it into manure, then our flowers grow even better. But for that we have to get our hands dirty.

Putting this into Context

Negative emotions are not meant to be avoided. As mentioned earlier, there are times when people get stuck in a negative spiral, where a short phase of positive thinking might pull them out of their mess. But unless we work on and transmute our negativity, we cannot completely utilize the power they bring to our personalities.

Also, positive thinking creates a suppression of negative emotions which eventually manifest as physical disease – because the body needs to find a way to release them.

Neither Positive Nor Negative: Don’t Think

When we are focused on doing what we need to do, there is very little thinking. We might choose to think – i.e., plan, execute, delegate, etc., but when we are really engaged in the action, there is very little scope for thinking about the outcome, because all our energies are dedicated to the present. In this moment, there is no positive or negative. There is just action.

It is when we are concerned about the outcome that thinking becomes negative or positive. If something unwanted happened in the past, we resist reality and either feel miserable or suppress it and convince ourselves that things will get better. If we are waiting for the outcome, we project a positive or negative outcome and feel happy or sad. In either case our thoughts are a lie, because the future isn’t here yet, and we have no idea what it will bring. The only thing that is real, is the present. And when you are in the present, there is no positive or negative. It just is as it is.

‘Maya‘ or illusion is one of the most commonly used words in Indian spirituality. Everything is an illusion, we are told again and again. And today, Quantum physicists agree, saying that everything that we perceive, including the separation between ourselves and other people and objects, is nothing but an illusion.

But, what does illusion really mean? Does it mean that if you are hungry, there is no point in eating, because food is an illusion? Or because YOU are an illusion? It took me a few months to start to understand that just because something is an illusion, does not mean that nothing exists in its place.

Illusion is not the existence of something, but its perception. 

When you glance at the picture above, it looks as if a miniature Eiffel tower is standing on the paper. On taking a closer look, we realize that it is just really clever drawing. When we look at a table, we see a solid surface, separate from ourselves. On taking a closer, very microscopic view, we realize that everything is made of molecules and there isn’t really any separation, just a variation of density.

It’s All About Your Perception

Going deeper, we start to see that absolutely everything we know and believe is based on perceptions – and it is only the illusion that we perceive. For example, when someone comes and tells you that they just enjoyed a chocolate cake, you go back to the experience of eating chocolate cakes in your past, and feel happy for them. Now if you realize that they don’t like chocolate cake and are unhappy  they had to eat it, you go back to another memory when you ate something you didn’t like, and imagine that they feel the same way.

In both cases, you imagine that what you felt in the past in a similar situation, is exactly what the other is feeling. And this is the biggest illusion we foster.

It’s Never the Same

I remember going to a science museum in Singapore as a teenager, and finding a bunch of tasting ‘papers’ in a bowl. When we licked the paper, some of us found it sweet, and some sour. We were utterly surprised to find that all the papers had the same taste. And yet, what we were experiencing was completely different.

When you fall and hurt your knee, when you eat an apple, when you get your heart broken, when you get a massage or place your foot on the earth, your experience is unique. Just like no two people can ever see the same rainbow, no two people can experience anything the same way.

Going Back to the Point of Reference

Absolutely everything we talk about, needs a point of reference. When you say ‘sweet’, you are referencing with sugar. When you say ‘anger’, you are referencing to what you feel in situations where people think you or someone should be angry. This is why behavior that might seem completely acceptable to you might be completely offensive to someone else – because you are using different points of reference.

The Pitfall

One major pitfall in being bound by illusion is that we cannot relate to people who are experiencing something we have never ourselves experienced. Or when their perception varies greatly, like having a drastically different threshold of pain. This creates disruptions and problems in relationships. Also, forgetting that perceptions are limited to our current view of the situation can lead us to get lost in unnecessary and intense emotions.

Transcending It

A careful look back at our own lives will show us how our own realities have changed with our perception. Maybe you hated eating broccoli as a child, and now you love it, or maybe you thought your father was the most amazing guy on the planet, and now he’s just human. Opinions change with perception. And perceptions are variable, based on where you stand.

If we can just remind ourselves when we speak with others, that what they have or are experiencing has no relation to our own experiences, and that their experience is completely unique, it creates a great shift in relationships. We move from ‘I know what you are feeling’ to ‘I’ll never know how that feels for you, but you have my attention and/ or my support’.

The amount of hypnosis and mind-manipulation in the media today is staggering. Children have been a favourite target for long, and now we have a generation of adults that has been exposed to a whole lifetime of media hypnosis.

In my observation, apart from making people more addicted consumers, a constant exposure to the media dramatically reduces happiness levels .

Advertising is increasingly using hypnosis to sell products – the whole idea of advertising is mostly to sell you things you don’t need, so they have to create a demand first, by showing you how sub-standard your life is, without the product. The implications are vast, and effective – people are becoming increasingly body, fashion and brand conscious, mostly to their detriment. But what affects people more than anything else, is the hatred that is being spread in the name of news.

However, there are also people today who are more aware than before, and not everyone is brainwashed by the media. Here are a few signs you have remained above it all.

1. You don’t take sides

When you read the news merely to stay up to date with what the world is talking about, you are usually unaffected by it. Anyone who has had a close tryst with the media knows first hand how so much news is completely fabricated out of thin air, or in the very least, distorted beyond recognition. When you view the news with this knowledge, you know that it is foolish to be on one side, because what you are so passionately feeling about might not even be true.

2. It doesn’t stick on

If you spend the rest of your day thinking about what you saw/ read, then you know you’ve fallen for their tricks. This applies to news, series, reality shows, everything. Today the media is using stronger emotions because whether positive or negative, intensity is usually addictive.

3. You are not a mouthpiece for the media

When I was young, I’d hear this phrase a lot – any publicity is good publicity. Everytime you talk, share or tweet something, whether against or in favour of, you are directly playing into the hands of those who are trying to gather free publicity – this is exactly what they want.

If you look at it from an energy perspective too, the more you make an issue out of it, the more energy you send it. The more energy an issue has, the more it can affect you. Of course, we do the right thing when we can, but most of the times when we discuss – either verbally or through media – we are just providing people free publicity.

4. You are not addicted

Would you feel at peace on a vacation where you don’t use any gadgets? This is a common fantasy, but it does nothing to indicate an addiction or the lack of it. You know you are free when you don’t go back to media when you have ‘nothing to do’ or ‘are bored’. Spend a holiday at home just spending loving time with the family, without an insane desire to check your email or whatsapp just one more time, and you know you’re dong fine.

5. You are not a consumer

Consumerism is a disease that stems from an inability to be with oneself. We try to fill this gap through retail therapy, or over-stimulating ourselves. An inability to ‘be’ with oneself leaves one vulnerable to manipulation and deception. If you are satisfied with what you have, however, this is not possible.

My heart is aching. I don’t watch the news, but some bits of them come blaring, into our lives anyway. I heard about the blasts in Paris first thing in the morning on the 14th, and then started to realise that it wasn’t just Paris that was bleeding. Lebanon, Syria, Iraq… the list is endless.

But what hurts more than anything else, is the violence I see in day to day life, and the encouragement of more violence. Nobody seems to be talking about the fact that this was a retaliation by those who were upset that Paris was bombing Syria. Not that that makes it any less painful, but how is it that we didn’t care about dead Syrians or express our solidarity by changing our profile photos – are some lives less valuable than others? Can the Westerners go around funding and selling arms to whoever they support, encourage mass murders and then be alarmed when they experience a fraction of the same horror? Is this what you support?

Are you Contributing?

Do you really want a peaceful world? It is sometihng we talk about, but I’ve observed that it is hardly something anyone really wants. We’d rather see severe, brutal punishment. We’d rather see Paris retaliate with bombs, because the media has convinced us that Muslim lives are worthless and they’re all violent terrorists.

So, whose side are you on?

Are you taking sides again? Are you filled with hatred and anger towards the killers? Do you realise that by doing this, you are helping the world remain a violent, horrible place to live in?

What can you do?

The violence in the world is nothing but a reflection of the violence inside our hearts (read more). We can blame the ‘selfish’ politicians, the terrorists – who are really just people tortured by the West and trying to fight back, no different from the Western soldiers who are sent to bomb their wives and children – or anyone else. But really, we are contributing by allowing the violence to seep inside our hearts, and by sending it back out into the world through our words, thoughts, and now social media posts.

Let go of your beliefs

Yes, a large part of the wars are motivated by greed, but they are supported by ideologies. Every citizen that supports the war, believes that his side is right, his view is perfect. Don’t you, too? If you’re taking sides, you can come up with dozens of reasons why it is ok to kill innocent people on the other side – but can something like that ever really be justified?

If we want a peaceful world – if at all we choose to make it a priority before we ourselves stand to lose everything we love – we need to stop taking sides. We need to stop making it about ‘them’ and ‘us’. There is no separation, not really. The worst monsters in the world are a reflection of our own inner darkness. We can choose to dive into that darkness and create more bloodshed. Or we can send them love, refuse to take sides, and hold the space while the earth starts to heal.

CAN you make a difference?

One of the most common excuses is that one person cannot change anything. Yes, you can. You have no idea how many thousands of others you will join, and maybe if we’re all lucky, you will help us cross the critical mass. There are dozens of scientific studies that have shown how group meditations have brought down crime rates. You CAN make a difference. Will you?